New bulletin from 3 Mustaphas 3 central

Addressing a packed house at the 'Semaphore' Askadinema, Dr Patrel Mustapha spoke today on behalf of all artists of Szegerely in confronting the current announcement made by M. Alain Levy, of EMI record house. M. Levy had said '[in an attempt to cut costs] we are cancelling 49 artists whom we have signed in Finland?I didn't know there were even 49 people in Finland who could sing'. Riding a huge wave of indignation on behalf of 'our artistic finno-ugric brothers and sisters of whatever origin', Dr Mustapha announced a multi-point plan of action. In brief, this is:

1. immediate plans for 49 Szegerely artists not to sign with EMI;
2. issuing an international stamp with the slogan 'I didn't know there were even 49 people whom EMI could sign';
3. setting the new joke by our comic laureate Il Macalagna (Q'what is difference between a shark and EMI? 'A: 'a shark has fins/Finns') to a catchy eurobeat and selling 4,000,000 copies worldwide by word of mouth only;
4. taking the letters 'EMI' out of 'Email' and only communicating by 'Al' in future;
5. giving Al a recording contract in recognition of all of the hard work he will have to do carrying messages everywhere;
6. making sure that all 'Majors' know that 'they are not the only game in town?or in country [laughter]'.

Dr Mustapha added that music was a fiery torch too precious to be carried in the hands of the Majors alone. 'The flame [of the fiery torch] must warm us all. It will bring a heatiness (sic) and warmth to all who crowd round her flame. To be burnt by music is a democratic right! The more exclusive the hand holding it higher it is, the more chance that the wind of opportunism will extinguish it in several breaths'. The true artist is 'fast, competent, wriggling, inquisitive, dedicated, mercurial, subversive, positive, sensitive yet raw [applause], and above all, yes, creative [applause]. When a M. Levy - any M. Levy - says 'I didn't even know that I owned you, and now I push you off my balcony whether you can sing or not' then you know that there is an injustice in the house [more applause]. We should sing 'If I had a hammer, I could fix his balcony'.

When asked later on SzegTV's 'News Bite' whether or not his 'hammer' remark could be taken as an incitement to violence, Dr Mustapha pooh-poohed the interpretation. 'No, it's a positive pledge. We are a nation of doers and helpers. If he has a broken balcony we can take our carpentry values to help him. Our artists are willing to support his balcony, even if his balcony cannot support our artists'.

The Szegerely Artists' Union endorsed Dr Mustapha's sentiment. Brak Mustapha, portraitist and chair person, announced today that Recording Agreements would be thoroughly available at the check-out counter of Uncle Patrel's SloFood, at the Crazy Loquat and many other convenient day and night outlets. 'Just fill 'em in and send 'em on over' Reports that M. Levy would be following this course 'to check out the market' were hotly denied.

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Source: Ian Anderson / fRoots Magazine, mailto:ian@frootsmag.com

article submitted by: WOMEX